Happiness

The thing about happiness is that one does not necessarily find the time to write about it. One feels it, lets it overwhelm, and enjoys it while is there. Yet, one wants to write about it, to remember it, in case one forgets how it feels like, or, more importantly, its cause. And here’s one clue: we do forget things, all the time. And we’re also great at creating new habits and forgetting about old ones while forgetting too that some of the old ones were bringing us lots of happiness.

But what’s happiness, anyway? If you open a textbook on psychology, surprisingly, or not, it will say that our self-reports of how happy we feel are quite accurate in describing how happy we are ‘objectively’. Some ‘objective’ indicators may be: your environment, where do you live, whether you’re employed, feel lonely, have a support system, you meet your basic needs, do things you enjoy, are not going through a hardship period, enjoy good health, etc.

But what else? One can enjoy the best of the conditions just mentioned, and one can feel very fine indeed. However, la joie de vivre, the sparkle in the eyes, the impossible task of trying not-to-smile, and the wholeness one feels in the chest, what makes that ‘extra’ occur?

Of course, the obvious response is right. Nonetheless, for one to love, one needs to feel full of love for one’s own life first. We are thrown into this life without a safety-float, kind of Heidegger dixit. There is no meaning given, and we ought to make our own. I appreciate not many people may ask themselves: what’s the point of being alive? but perhaps if they did sit with that question for a while, so much of their lives could change, even for the better. Maybe knowing what’s the point of being alive could be the prelude to loving one’s life. There’s a more straightforward question, though: what do you do that makes you feel proud? Not proud because of the recognition you may receive from others, the status, the awards. But proud of yourself, to yourself. What is what you would still do, even if no one noticed it? Or if you weren’t to succeed at doing? What would you invest your time in, with no remorse for not using it elsewhere? That may give some clues.

And here’s the thing about happiness: it’s the most natural thing in the world. It’s just right in front of us. It comes with the simple discovery of what to do with one’s life. That’s why, perhaps, that’s the most urgent task to solve before allowing ourselves to be swollen by any of life’s routines. Once one gets into any of the already established routes-of-how-to-live that the society set up, before figuring out who we are, we’re already who others want us to be. Life passes by very quickly then. And we tend to forget that there were other things we cared about, and we become blind.

The beauty of life, however, is that it keeps giving chances so one can take the veil off and see again with the clarity one had experienced already. Final clue: by the time we feel lost, we have already found what makes us happy, but we’d just forgotten about it. It may be somewhere in your childhood memories, or perhaps in your teenage ones.